Managing Relationship Expectations

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If faith is the cornerstone of your life, you should be with someone who shares your love for Jesus. Let's see how this one change in managing expectations and turning them into preferences can make life and love easier for Mike and Lesley. You expect your boss or your human resources representative to hand you a paycheck on pay day. Only later on did it blossom into something greater.

It means that if you are getting to know one another, you are just friends with no expectations of commitment. One of the characteristics of a healthy relationship is that each partner is aware of their expectations, and can ask for specific behaviors as a polite and gentle request. Compare lists with each other. At one point, I was that person. We were raised on stories that promised us that once we found Prince or Princess Charming, everything else would take care of itself.

During this time, solely focus on simply finding out if this person even qualifies to be a friend, because that should be the basis of any relationship or marriage. Unspoken expectations are the prelude for unproductive arguments and repeated disappointments.

Mike and Lesley got married one year ago, and they didn't live happily ever after. If you set your expectations too high however, and the person does not meet your standards, you are the one who winds up feeling sad or angry.

Love was reduced to a simple problem of location. You may even have to express it sweetly several times to reinforce new behavior. Your expectations should only increase with the commitment level, but not a second before. And I'd like it if when you know you are running low, you told me, or maybe you could do a load once in awhile yourself. Discipline yourself to do this.

To expect that they will translate your values into behaviors is a set up for disappointment. Chances are you'll get a lot more cooperation, instead of tired old arguments. From your co-worker to your best friend to your spouse, you have expectations of everyone in your life.

Love was reduced to

It is one thing to have preferences, practical ones, that you can express to your mate. Instead, you just enjoyed it for what it really was, a new friendship with someone who you liked being around. One of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship is to learn how to turn these expectations into practical preferences. It's quite another thing to automatically assume they will do the exact behaviors you want. In short, he knowingly benefited from my expectations of commitment without actually making one.

Your expectations should only

Managing Relationship Expectations - Beliefnet